i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
