I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
