how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
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