The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
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