Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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