let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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