She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
