She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
