Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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