I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
We're not piercing ourselves today.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
