Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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