just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
