Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
