I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
