Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
