hell yes lets make some ravioli
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
