bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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