i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
