I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
