So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Randomize
