I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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