I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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