I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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