My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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