You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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