and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
