the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Success! We fucked roommates!
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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