I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
