Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
