So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
