i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Randomize
