dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
