We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
