a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
