Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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