Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
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