Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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