3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Randomize
