In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I have already put on my inside pants.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
