smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
