they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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