Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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