this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
