somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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