Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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