I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
