I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
