and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
