Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
