i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
