yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
